The Lost Memories
by Kal Kally
Summary: When Voldemort was defeated, Draco Malfoy also died. He was then reborn into a Muggle’s body. He met someone from the past and decided to travel to the wizard world to find his lost memories. Focus on the love triangle between Harry, Ron and Draco
1. Default Chapter

**The Lost Memories**

Kal Kally

Disclaimer: I own nothing! J.K.Rowling created the characters, I just borrow them to make a really crazy fic.

Pairing: Focus on the love triangle between Harry, Ron and Draco.

Note 1: The story was written mostly in Draco's POV. When Voldemort was defeated, Draco Malfoy also died. He was then reborn into a Muggle's body. Sometime later, he met someone from the past and decided to travel to the wizard world to find his lost memories.

Note 2: I know the grammar may be not very perfect. I'm still learning English.

Note 3: *_Word_* = Flashback.

Chapter 1 

I'm Draco Allen, just a normal boy, a nobody in this vast world. Most of the time, I ignore that fact. It's not something important enough to bother my life. I'm only sixteen, still have much time to worry about that. But sometimes, I feel in myself the presence of another me with a strange pride and completely different characters, always demands me to be the best, to be above others.

May be it's that secret version of myself that is making me so nervous now.  I deliver meals for a small restaurant, the money I'm paid is really important to me but I always have the feeling that this job is mediocre and doing it is a shame. 

A sigh escapes my mouth as the doorbell rings. I have to do it anyway. My mother's birthday is in next month and now I'm saving hard to earn enough money to give her something a little bit expensive. Maybe then, she'll spare me some of her free time and stop seeing me as a copy of my father who left us when I was only four years old. 

Still no one answer the door. I ring the doorbell again. I've been standing in front of this house for about ten minutes. Where is that damn woman that supposed to live in it? What's her name? Oh yes, my boss told me to deliver the meal to Mrs. Granger. That must be her name.

Just when I'm about to give up and leave the house, cursing my bad luck, the door opens and a woman steps out. An old woman about 50 or 60 years old. She looks...

strangely...

familiar...

_*Mudbloods like you shouldn't exist in this earth*_

and then suddenly darkness...

***

I come to life with a throbbing headache. Must have fainted again. Damn, that's the fourth time this month. Looking around, I realize I'm now on a sofa in the most ancient-looking living room I've ever seen. The furniture is terribly old. Not to tell the fireplace with flames dancing in it. What is that woman thinking? Isn't this summer day hot enough without her fire? But I can't deny that I love seeing flames dancing like this. This scene is very familiar.

Blink.

*A blond boy about sixteen or seventeen years old sitting in an old armchair in front of the fireplace. Another boy sitting on the floor, resting his flame-like head in the first boy's lap. None of them smiling but they both looked peaceful.*

I blink again. What's that? Recently I keep hearing voices and seeing things. May be the tension in my family life is driving me nuts. 

"Are you OK, kid?" A tender voice comes from somewhere behind me, making me startled. I sit up, my eyes switch to the door and stop on the old woman, I think she's Mrs. Granger. She's holding a tray with a glass of brown liquid on it.

Tender, kind, caring. She could be a perfect grandmother that any kid would desire but for some reason, just looking at her makes me sick.

"I was so afraid when you fainted on my door step," she continues and gives me the glass, "I wonder if I had met you before.  You look very familiar to me but then, I can be wrong."

I receive the glass but don't drink the brown liquid in it. It must be stupid but I don't trust this woman. Not at all. "Can I use the telephone?" I ask "I should call home. I don't know if I'm capable of going home with this stupid headache."

Mrs. Granger smiles sweetly and, I must be wrong but still... , sickly. "There's no telephone in my house. Not even a piece of electric thing here. Why do you need electricity when you can use magic, right?"

Magic? Is she crazy? "But magic does not exist in this world" I answer.

"Really? Do you really think so?" 

"Of course." What else did she expect? But why is she staring at me like that. It looks as if she's considering if I'm telling the truth.

"You can rest here until you're well again," She suddenly offers "And drink the water. It's good for your health. I have to go now."

I want to protest but she has already gone out of the room, quickly and soundlessly like when she came. So much like a ghost. I'm alone again in the room again. Oh well, I'll wait till she comes back, thank her and leave then. My thought returns to her words.

Magic? Does she really believe that magic actually exists?

*... you'll learn how to control your magic there. Be a bright Slytherin. Don't shame our family's name....*

My hands shake and the glass I'm holding falls down and breaks, smearing the brown liquid on the floor. What was that?

_*Blood slipped through his fingers as another life was crushed under his spells. He didn't regret. He stopped regretting long ago. This was life. This was his life. Powerful and feared. Soon he would be the most powerful ally of the Dark Lord, for he declined to be on the Dark Lord's side as only one of his servants. He would soon be able to defeat that damn Potter.*_

_* "You never care for me, do you? You just use me." *_

Pain. Pain fills my head along with visions of unfamiliar scenes with unfamiliar faces. It has happened several times before but not as terrible as this. The only thing I can do is holding my head in my hands, whimpering as waves and waves of scenes threaten to drown me.

* A famine's voice. "He is mine and will be mine forever. I can do anything to ensure that." *

_* That lovely redhead was resting in his lap again but this time he couldn't force out a smile. Not when those sweet lips were letting out the final breathes. "Do you have any feeling for me?" He knew he shouldn't ask that now but he had to know._

_"I... don't know", the other boy answer faintly, "I love him and that'll never change but I... I also need you."_

"That's enough", he wept and tighten his hold on the other boy. "Oh God, don't you dare to die and leave me alone."

"Even if I died, I would still be with you, as long as you keep the memories of me in your heart." *

I'm crying again. No matter how many times I dreamt of that scene, I would still find myself crying. They're not my memories but... why is this hopeless feeling rising in my chest? 

_* "You don't deserve happiness. In this world or another. Wherever you go, you will still be alone. Yes, that's right, loneliness is your fate." *_

_* "Crying again? I never want to see you cry." *_

"Crying again? I never want to see you cry."

Suddenly I return to reality, return to the sofa in the ancient-looking room. I try to stand up, very surprised to find I can do that easily. The headache has stopped. The mysterious visions also gone. I must be wrong but that last sentence seemed to be spoken by some one in this room.

"You didn't change much."

My eyes widen as I look up slowly. In front of the fireplace stands that boy, the boy with the hair like flame I've seen so many times in my dreams. " Who are you?" I stammer. 

"Come with me." He says and disappears into the fireplace. Yeah, right, into the fireplace. Only that the fire has faded out completely. It its place is a stair down somewhere. A hidden room under the ground?

Without any hesitance, I follow the boy down there.

I didn't know under Mrs. Granger's house there was a place like this. It's a tiny room lightened by a lot of candles, may be hundreds of them. There are no decorations. In the middle of the room is an open coffin, which seems to be made from really expensive wood.

I have the feeling someone is calling me from it, some invisible hands are pulling me towards it. Well, doing that won't hurt, right? So I follow the call.

In the coffin lies a man, slightly older than me, about twenty years old. He's dressing in an old dark robe. His hair's dark and there's a scar with the shape of lightning on his forehead. What surprised me most is that he's still breathing.

He's beautiful.

I shake my head. Did I just say he's beautiful? My hands clasp more tightly on the coffin's edge as I try to get closet, hoping to get a better view of his face.

The next thing I know, my lips are upon his.

* He could exchange anything to taste those lips. Never had he desired anyone so intensely before.*

Sweet. His lips are sweet but like neither honey nor candy. In fact, it tastes like ripen fruit. It's also sick. I should be killing him instead of kissing him now.

Killing him? Kissing him? I jolt back, what am I thinking? But before I can guess out the answer, a growl disrupts my thought. The dark hair boy has woken and now is staring at me with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. 

Another time, I think I would have laughed at the sheer ridiculous side of it, so much like the tale my mother had told me when I was small, a kiss of the prince had waken the princess up. But before any sound can escape my mouth, the man jumps out of the coffin and attacks. In a second, he has me pinned under him. His hands wrap around my throat

Thoughts fly away. Everything I can focus on now is how to pry his fingers off my throat. Does he want to kill me? God, how could someone delicate as this man possess so much strength?

He is speaking something but I can only catch the last words. A name? Why is he saying it with such an intense hatred?

"...die. Malfoy."

TBC.


	2. Chapter 2

I change the rating because Hermione died in this chapter. I do like the girl but it's for the story's sake.

Chapter 2 

A crashing sound stunned both of us. The wrapping hands around my throat loosen and I manage to turn to the direction the sound came from. At the door, Mrs. Granger is clutching her chest, her eyes wide. She has to lean to the door for support. On the ground, there's a mess of broken glass and the brown liquid. She must have made me some other drink, gone back and found that I had invaded her secret place. The dark hair man's fingers leave my throat as his eyes now focus completely on the woman, his face is a mixture of pain and anger.

"Harry," The woman breathes out, sounding both torn and shaken. "You... you're awake."

"Disappointed?" The man sneers and gets on his feet. His right hand rises and after a flash of light, a stick of wood appears in it. He caresses it lovingly. "Ah, I see you haven't destroyed my wand yet. What a stupid mistake of you but for that," he laughs evilly, "Maybe I'll let you die without pain."

I gasp at that cruel statement, trying to stand up. The two other people in the room ignore me as Mrs. Granger turns around, obviously attempts to run away. 

"Oh no you don't" The man growls and point his stick... err... wand at her. A dagger appears at the top of it and flies towards Mrs. Granger with an incredible speed. It doesn't mean to take her life, I notice as it only strikes at her left leg. The poor woman screams and falls, her body rolls down the stairs and stop at the man's feet. She clutches her leg, whimpering, her hands now soak with blood.

"I won't let you escape so easily," The man she called Harry kneels down, digs his fingers into her tangled hair and pulls her head up viciously. "I've waited for this day for 40 years. 40 fucking years. Why Hermione?", his voice rises, "Why did you trap me here?"

"I... I just want to keep you. I love you, Harry." Mrs. Granger whimpers shakily as she tries to escape from Harry's grip. It's so odd to see an as old woman as her saying about love to a young man, not older than twenty.  

Harry's eyes widen. He releases the woman's head and leaps on his feet. In that moment, I realize he is trembling too, not because of fear or pain but anger. "That's a poor excuse." He spits on her face. "Love is a poor excuse for an act of hate. Hermione, for 40 years I didn't see the sun. I was separated from people. To live and feel and understand but couldn't open my eyes, couldn't move a finger. Trapped in my own body. Is. That. Your. Love?" He hisses and kicks at her injured leg, earning another scream. "I'm happy. I'm very happy to see you dead."

The old woman crawls up and hugs Harry's legs, still sobbing, but her voice sounds hysterically loving and childish. "You... you don't mean to say that. You said you love me. You said you would never hurt me." 

Harry's face softens but quickly hardens again. "That's my fault to you but I'd paid for it when you let Ron die." In his hands appears another dagger, he raises it, prepare to strike down the woman's head. "Now die."

Oh no! I throw my self at the man, knocking down his dagger. Both of them seem startled as if they didn't expect my move. Though I don't like Mrs. Granger much, I can't let her be killed like that. But to my surprise, she glares up at me hatefully. "Draco Malfoy. Harry, isn't that someone you should be out for blood more than me?" She doesn't even acknowledge I've just saved her life. My blood runs cold as Harry turns his attention to me.

"Wait," I cry, stepping back, terrified, suddenly wishing they would just resume what they were doing and let me out of here. "This has nothing to do with me. I'm not Draco Malfoy. I'm Draco Allen." 

"Are you going to believe that? The little faggot wants to save his life." The woman laughs, hatred painfully clear in her voice.

"No, he's not." Harry said after studying me carefully. I breathe out in relief. "Draco Malfoy died at the age of twenty-one in front of my eyes. Even if he hadn't, he would have been sixty-one years old now. How old is this boy? Only sixteen or seventeen." 

"He is Draco Malfoy. He was reborn." Mrs. Granger smirks.

"WHAT??????" I shriek, the sound I made must be horrible because both of them wince. The woman's statement has struck me with the force of a train.

The woman tries to stand up but fails because of her broken legs. "Ironic? Draco Malfoy finally was reborn into the body of a Muggle, what he hated most. It seems the time spell I cast on you has affected him somehow. But Harry," She turns to Harry, there's more hatred in her eyes than I thought a human could possess. "No matter how many times he is reborn, he will still be Draco Malfoy. Don't let him go away without paying for what he had done." 

Harry let out a hysterical laugh. "Yes, it's ironic. But don't tell me what to do. I know what has to be done first." Then his voice changes into a strange language. I don't know what is happening but Mrs. Granger's eyes widen. "No". She screams.

There's a blinding light, I have to shield my eyes from it with my hands. When I can open my eyes, the poor woman is now a heap on the floor. Battered, lifeless. She's laying on her own blood, her face twist in the expression of extremely pain.

I clasp my hands on my mouth, trying to muffle a cry. She's dead. Dead. Oh my God. "You... you killed her." That's all what I manage to spurt out. 

"Don't worry." Harry turns to me. "It's now your turn."

"But... but... God! What have I ever done to you?" 

"Oh, let me tell you, in case you don't remember, Draco Malfoy", he said mockingly." You made my best friend from me. You stole him from me, took away his heart that should have been only mine to keep. And in the end, you kill him. Son of a bitch. Why did you have to kill him?" His voice turns in to a roar as he trembles with rage.

"But I'm not Draco Malfoy." I cry desperately, backing away another step. 

"Shut up!" He doesn't even touch me but I'm blown towards the wall, struck it hard. For a moment, I see stars. "You shall pay for the murder of Ron Weasley." His voice vaguely comes from somewhere around me.

Ron Weasley?

_* "You're a nobody, a loser, a whore, Weasley." He sneered at the redhead now hugging himself in front of him, sobbing faintly. A half of him hurt like hell to see the other boy's tears but the other half enjoyed breaking him. But he was Draco Malfoy so he ignores the first and he followed the latter. _

_Taking Weasley's chin, he lifted his face so that he was now staring at those hopeless eyes. Leaning closer, he kissed the boy hard. Bite. Lick. Suck. There was no love. Only desire._

_Then he broke the kiss but didn't release Weasley, instead he let his offer hot on the boy's lips. "And now you can't even come back, being marked a Traitor. So why don't you just go with it? Tell me Potter's weakness. Tell me his secret and then you will have everything."_

_Much to his surprise, a punch was thrown at his stomach. Faster than a blink, Weasley rolled and slammed him to the wall. He hissed at his face. "Never say that to me again. That's right. I'm Ronald Weasley, a nobody, a loser, a whore but I never betray Harry." *_

I blink. That redhead is Ron Weasley? But if the blonde is Draco Malfoy then what is this?

* ...he wept and tightened his hold on the other boy. "Oh God, don't you dare to die and leave me alone." *

"That's not true." I whisper "Draco Malfoy didn't kill your friend."

"What do you know?" Harry Potter, now I know his full name, glares at me "You don't even remember your past." So he knows I don't have my past life memory but he still demands to kill me? What the hell is going on in his head?

Trying to sit up, I wince as my whole body hurts. "I sometimes see things and hear voices." Oh, that sounds stupid. "I mean I have flashbacks. At first I thought they were only the products of my imagination but now I know they're Draco Malfoy's memories. And I see... Draco Malfoy didn't want Ron Weasley to die. He had cried and begged Ron Weasley not to leave him alone."

"That didn't mean anything." Potter holds the shock expression for some seconds then said harshly, his want aimed at me again. "Malfoy did murder him, did make him betray me."

"You are wrong. Draco Malfoy never did take Ron Weasley's heart away from you. He never was able to make him betray you because..." 

_* "Do you have any feeling for me?" He knew he shouldn't ask that now but he had to know._

_"I... don't know", the other boy answer faintly, "I love him and that'll never change..." * _

Do I really want to tell him this? Should I tell him? But I don't want him to know. Weasley is mine.

Blink. Mine? I'm not Draco Malfoy. What did I've just think? Besides, this may save my life. "...because Weasley died still loving you. Or at least that's what he said before he..."

Potter pales. He looks frozen and then drops his wand and falls to his knees, one arm hugging himself, the other hand hiding his face. "Can't. He couldn't have loved me or what I did... Oh God, What have I done?" 

"Potter?" I ask hesitatingly. For a short of time, I think I'm going to feel pity or him as there's so much pain on his face. Pain mixed with realization, guilt, and self-hatred. I quickly banish the thought. He deserves it. He deserves to suffer because he... What did he do anyway? 

Potter looks up, but his face devoid of any emotion. It's like he has put on a mask. He gets up, slowly approaches Mrs. Granger's corpse and takes out a small pot from nowhere. Only a small drop was poured on the corpse but it immediately turns into ashes. He then walks to me, pulls me out of the secret room savagely. Once out of the room, I'm thrown to the floor hard. I wince as purple bruises start to appear on my right arm, evident of Potter's harshness. 

When I look up, the fire has returned to the fireplace, now burning brightly as if nothing has happened. Potter has his back against me but I can still imagine his lov... ugly face.  He says emotionlessly. "I need to know the truth. I'll let you live because of that. But remember, I can kill within a blink." He waves his wand for emphasis. "So don't tell anyone what you've seen and heard to day if you want to live a little longer." After finishing the threat, he disappears into the fire, not bothering to look at me once. I'm left alone in the ancient-looking room, trying in vain to calm down.

***

I can't tell how happy I am when I step into my room. Finally I have returned to my shelter, my house. Funny. I've been living here for almost sixteen years but I have never had the feeling that this is my home, only my house. Between it and me, between my mother and me is an abyss too deep for me to cross. I used to think it was because of the bastard I have to call father but now I think it's my past life that creates that abyss.

But it's so safe here. There's nothing threatening me. I throw myself onto the bed and hide my face into one pillow, close my eyes. Yes, safety. There's no Hermione Granger, no Harry Potter, no magic, no one to remind me of Draco Malfoy. If only Weasley were here with me... My eyes snap open. What did that come from? I'm not Draco Malfoy. So why am I thinking of Ron Weasley again? But... but without... without... him... it's very lonely. No, that has nothing to do with Weasley. I've been lonely for a long time.

*_ When you die, I didn't know what to do. I felt lost. I hoped it would go away soon. But now, two years has passed, the feeling of being lost and insecure still doesn't go away. Without you, the desire for the Boy Who Live grows stronger each day but the hatred towards him grows stronger, too. Soon, I think I won't be able to keep my promise to you anymore. I must have him. I must break him. I must kill him. *_

* _"God will send you to hell, Death Eater!" The wizard whimpered, holding his right shoulder, the place where his arm supposed to be was now a mess of bone and bloody flesh. _

_"There's no God," he sneered, kicking at the man's already broken shoulder, enjoying the scream that filled the clearing. "God blesses those who don't deserve to live and let those who do die. You all deserve to die. AVADA KEDAVRA." _

_Silence. No other sound, just his breathing in the silent darkness. "What'll you think of me now? My kind-hearted Gryffindor? He murmured, buried his face in one hand, not caring he had smeared blood on his face. It was not his blood anyway.*_

*I don't know if I love you or not. I never love anyone. But without you, it's lonely. It's very lonely here. I thought I got used to the loneliness long ago but it still hurts like hell. Why don't you come back?*

It's sad. "No I'm not sad." I whisper to myself. "I'm not Draco Malfoy. There's no reason for me to bring grief upon my self because of someone I haven't even met." But... my heart is still aching. It used to hurt before when I had those visions but now, when I know his name, it hurts so much more."

"You're crying again. I told you I never want to see you cry." 

I startle at the voice. "Who's there?" I sit up a little, asking shakily. Suddenly the voice seems so familiar.

A glowing spot of light is floating in the air in front of me. I watch in fascination as it becomes larger and larger, finally forms the shape of a body. A ghost? A spirit? The light then fade, standing there is a boy not much older than me, pale, his hair like flame.

Longing.

Missing.

Wanting.

I know I'm supposed to scream in fear or run away or do something like that. But all what I can do is staring at him, feeling my heart torn and bleeding. I'm not Draco Malfoy but... Just the sight of him creates in my heart a strange feeling. It's not love. Definitely not desire. It's something flickering between them.

"You're Ron Weasley?" I ask, not really waiting for the answer. He comes closer, crawls on the bed with me. He then touches my cheek with his hand, whispering, "I'm very happy that you meet Harry and Hermione. Finally your magic has become a little stronger. Finally, I can appear in front of you, can speak to you."

I lean to his hand, despite my wanting. "Why are you here?"

"I'm keeping my promise to you."

"Ah."

*"Even if I died, I would still be with you, as long as you keep the memories of me in your heart." *

"I am always beside you." He says.

I understand now. So it was him. In my sixteen years of living, I did always feel someone watching me, protecting me. When I was six, I nearly died in a car accident, but just when the car was about to hit me, someone pushed me out of its way. Whenever I was in danger, someone was always there for me.

"Don't be sad." He embraces me. 

I let him but shake my head. "I'm not sad. I have no reason to be sad. I'm not Draco Malfoy."

"No matter how many times you're reborn, you'll still be Draco Malfoy to me. My dragon. My happiness. My sin."

I laugh softly, those wizards, they all said the same. They lie. I'm not Draco Malfoy. But... I lie to him, too. I do feel sad, because it does hurt.

Your hands, your breath, your embrace... they're cold. As cold as ice.

Oh yes, it does hurt. Hurt so much.

TBC.


End file.
